- Divide the summer holidays and be flexible.
As simple as it sounds, have a look at a calendar and the duration of the summer holidays and find a way to divide them between you if you do not already have a set formula or Child Arrangements Order. For some parents, this may mean dividing them equally; for some, that may not be possible or practical, so engage with your parent to find a regime that works for you and for your children. There is no “one size fits all” approach and a lot will depend on your family circumstances – work commitments, time with extended family and the children’s own commitments will need to be factored in. It is important that you are flexible and receptive to each other’s needs. Being intransigent is unlikely to be productive and increases the likelihood of disagreement and conflict.
Once you have decided how the summer holidays are going to be divided between you, you can then move on to thinking about what precisely your summer holiday plans will entail.
- Decide the specifics.
Unless you have a Child Arrangements Order (“CAO”) in your favour (previously known as a “lives with” order) then you will need the consent of your co-parent to take your children out of England and Wales to go on holiday. In order to give consent, your co-parent must be provided with basic information about the holiday, such as departure and return dates, flight numbers, airports, details of where you and the children will be staying, etc. If you do have a CAO in your favour, then you can take the child abroad for up to 28 days without the consent of the parent, but it is good practice to extend the same courtesy and keep the other parent informed about travel plans.
None of the above should be controversial – whilst you may be reluctant to share with your co-parent the address of the hotel or the villa where you will be staying, think of what you would want to be told if your child(ren) were travelling with them. Obviously, the sooner you can provide this information, the better. It is unlikely to assist relations with your co-parent to send them last minute details.
- Handing over the passports and travel consent.
Linked to the above is the important issue of passport handover. If the passports are currently in your possession and your co-parent needs them for a holiday, agree between you that they will be handed over in good time. It is likely to cause your co-parent stress and anxiety if the passports are handed over with short notice, i.e. on the day the holiday takes place. You will also need to agree between you when the passports should be returned. Conventionally, the passports will remain with the parent that last went on holiday with the children until the other parent needs them but it is important you agree the logistics between you.
As set out above, any parent with parental responsibility for a child needs to consent to their child(ren) leaving England and Wales even if for a short holiday. Therefore, it might be helpful for you each to agree to sign a letter confirming your consent for your children to travel, which should include your name, address, email, telephone number and specifics of your relationship to your child. It is not uncommon for parents travelling on their own with children to be stopped in airports and to be asked to provide the necessary consent, especially if the parent travelling has a different surname to the children. In fact, this applies to non-separated parents as well – it is always sensible to travel with a letter of consent from the other parent.
- Think about your children staying in touch with your co-parent.
Clearly, the children’s time with you whilst on holiday is important and precious to you and to your children. However, it is often important for children to remain in touch with their other parent whilst on holiday with you. Again, think about what you would like if your co-parent was on holiday with the children and how often you might like to be able to speak to the children whilst they are away. Whilst daily calls and messages may be perceived excessive, facilitating a FaceTime or WhatsApp video call every other day or sharing pictures of activities and adventures the children are experiencing is likely to encourage a strong co-parenting relationship between you and reduce tension and friction between you.
- What to do in the event of disagreement?
Whilst the steps above should hopefully minimise the likelihood of disagreement arising, conflict cannot be ruled out. If conflict arises it is important to remain calm, level-headed and think about how best to resolve the issue and bear in mind the central consideration – what is best for your children. Far too often, parents refuse to provide their consent for their children to travel for purely selfish reasons without thinking about whether or not the children would benefit from the holiday in question. Invariably, and subject always to safeguarding and welfare considerations, perceived wisdom dictates that children going on holidays with their parents is a positive experience so you will need a good reason not to agree to a holiday taking place.
You need to have an open mind to all methods of dispute resolution and to try to resolve matters without recourse to the courts. If you disagree with a proposed holiday, articulate why and make a counter-proposal or suggest resolving the matter in mediation or arbitration. The courts are inundated with applications relating to children right now and last-minute applications for permission to travel abroad are increasingly unlikely to be heard (or likely to be listed at a time when the holiday dates have passed). Be aware though: refusing to agree a holiday in the knowledge that the court may not have the time to deal with any application your co-parent may bring and not agreeing to engage in alternative dispute resolution is unlikely to be a wise move – the family court is increasingly expecting parents to resolve their disagreements without resorting to court and if you oppose a holiday and do not actively engage in non-court dispute resolution then you risk exposing yourself to the court’s sanctions should formal proceedings ever be issued. This could prejudice your position down the line.
For further information, please contact Alex Curran in the Payne Hicks Beach Family Department or, alternatively, telephone on 020 7465 4300.
To learn more about Prenups and Postnups, you can download a free copy of our Essential Guide to Prenuptial and Postnuptial Agreements here.
To learn more about divorce and separation, you can download a free copy of our Essential Guide to Divorce and Family Law here.
To learn more about Modern Family Law visit our dedicated webpage and download a free copy of our Essential Guide to Modern Family here.
